For me, a big part of growing up has been learning when I'm wrong, learning that I can be wrong and right at the same time, learning that anger achieves nothing save for heartache and misery. I took this personality test a few months ago. It puts you into one of sixteen categories, and mine just happened to be the most rare. (Heh.) As I was reading about my supposed self, some of the things I read actually rang true. For example:
Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubborness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. They believe that they're right.
I'm a very logical person. When I know something to be true, I have the hardest time accepting any other opinion. If you don't believe me, my sisters would be more than willing to back me up. As a result, getting into a fight with me can be quite dicey.
I went to a party a few weeks ago, and I was talking to one of my friends about his ex. He said that, when they got into fights, it was like she thought she was on Gossip Girl. She would say some snarky comeback, aimed to hurt, and then walk away in a huff. I think that, with girls especially, the lure of getting the last word in an argument is great. At least, it is for me.
I used to think that if I just yelled enough, or if I proved someone wrong enough times, I would come out victorious. But do you know what? It never made me happy. Ever. After fights like that, whether it was with friends, my boyfriend, or my mom, I always ended feeling even more hurt and angry. In addition to that, I felt awful because I knew I hurt someone else. And it's not like they were in any hurry to talk to me after I'd so carefully planned their demise in the argument. And I wasn't any better. After all, I was the one who yelled and then walked away.
Life is not like Gossip Girl. Problems are not solved by hurting each other's feelings. Problems are solved by talking. Communicating. Listening. Even though it's so tempting to hurt someone who hurt you, don't do it. Odds are, they didn't mean to hurt you. Odds are, they're just as hurt as you are.
I'm here to tell you that I've both fought angrily and communicated calmly. I've done both with several different people, actually. It's hard to swallow your pride and actually listen sometimes. I have a hard time listening when I "know" I'm right. But every time I have listened and understood, the argument didn't turn out to be a fight after all. It turned out to be two people talking and understanding each other. It turned out to be ok.
It turned out that I was, well, happy. :)
Key to happiness in every kind of relationship: mindless anger solves nothing.
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